I fear I am going mad even as I write these words. Why is it I feel this way about him? I know what he has done to me, and I know I should despise him for it. Then why is it my heart soar when I see him, and flutter when he speaks? I can’t count how many nights I lay in bed thinking of those weeks at Alethion’s Hold. Just the mere memory of his skin caressing mine, sends shivers throughout my body. Of course at the time, all I could think of was his wife and how devestated she would be if she saw him in such a lustful state, so I resisted with all I could. Though eventually I gave in…. and what a glorious feeling it was! My skin still tingles to this very day with the thought of his hips pressing into mine and his breath coming in short gasps as he pushes into me over and over and over. even as he stands with his wife and kisses her gently, I smile, my own thoughts taking control, and I imagine wrapping my legs around his thrusting hips as I cry out for more! : I regret now turning him over to the Order, for if I hadn’t we would both be happily enjoying eachother’s flesh still. ‘ I want to straddle him, and drive my hips down on his ! I fear I may go mad with this desire for another woman’s husband, but at the same time, I don’t wish to be sane…